A few months ago I had a big session with my practitioner. Throughout the years we have worked on my sexual trauma, but it’s never been the primary focus of the session since I did so much solo work on it. Little things would pop up and we would work on it along with everything else that had popped up during the month. But at the end of one of my sessions my practitioner told me the next session she thought we needed to have the main focus of the session be on the trauma, that it was time. And I knew it was true – even if I didn’t particularly like it. But I specialize in sexual trauma as a practitioner, and I’m big into you gotta practice what you preach kinda gal, so I sucked it up.
Did I grumble about it? Totally. But over the next month my body showed me it was time to do the work on the next layer. For instance, during one of my Pilates sessions my teacher manually cued me by touching my hip. I could feel that she touched me and apparently my body shifted the way she wanted it too, but for the life of me I can not tell you how my sacrum shifted position. And that is just one of many things that popped up. Realizations that I thought I was having for the first time, I would bring them up to my partner and as soon as I would reveal what I had put together, I would remember that I’ve had these realizations before, I just blocked them out.
I blocked my sexual trauma out for years. To the point that even when I did remember it and shared it with a friend, when she brought it up later I went oh no, that wasn’t me, you’re confusing me with someone else. I didn’t say this because I was lying, it was because I had blocked it out once again. But over the years I have done a ton of personal work around it. So to find out that I was still blocking things out and had so much unawareness around my hips and sacrum made me, once again, feel like I couldn’t trust myself. Insert tears, feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, etc.
So to help myself through this time I started having schizandra and dandelion root tea every day. Sometimes I would add other things depending on how I felt that day. But schisandra and dandelion root tea were the focus of my teas.
Schisandra berries are an adaptogen (meaning an herb that helps the body adapt to stress and restore balance/homeostasis back to the body) and have an affinity for helping people transform sexual trauma. Schisandra berries are renowned in Chinese Medicine because they benefit the 5 yin organs. And, without going too deeply into what that means, when you have long standing trauma part of it is going to be stored in the yin organs. Schisandra is renowned for working on many things but it has an affinity to the genitals and can help increase sensitivity, lubrication, and sexual stamina. It is often recommended for low libido, low sperm count, anxiety, chronic fatigue, depression, PTSD, and so much more.
Dandelion Root, like schisandra, can help with many things, but for the purposes of my tea the intention was to help my liver. In Chinese Medicine anger and frustration are the emotions held in the liver when it is out of balance. And, just like Schisandra, dandelion root is known to help with imbalances in the genitalia (think difficult menses, etc.).
So every day I would have my schisandra and dandelion root tea, I would journal, do acupressure and moxa on myself to prepare for my session. And the session I had with my practitioner was huge. It wasn’t easy, I cried for a lot of it, was pissed off during part of it, and then cried some more. But I got through it and have made leaps and bounds of progress personally.
Thinking of trying schisandra berry and dandelion root tea? Check out this post I wrote on how to get the most out of your herbs.
Want to book a session with me to help gently transform your sexual trauma? Click here to book an introduction session.